There are nights when I dream of him. In my dreams I know he’s not really there, or here, and I try to walk away, but he calls to me. Not often enough, yet too often for my comfort. I don’t ask for it. It just happens.
When he does show up, he speaks to me, addressing my situation, whatever it might be. Like the other night when I’d asked God for Him to show me His will for my life.
In my dream, he was there, in the back of a room full of people. Standing, observing, much as a student teacher would. At first, I didn’t see him. I peeked my head into the room and as soon as I noticed him, I ducked out and walked away, but him called my name.
Even in the persistence and insistence, there was no irritation. Only a beckoning. He sat me down and began giving me instructions. I’d found a napkin and wrote as fast as I could, but the only words I remembered were from Luke 14:23, “And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.“(KJV)
And then he said, “Mom is dependent upon it, so are our children.”
I began to weep. My heart breaking all over again. There he was. So real, and then he hugged me. In one of those hugs only he could give. All encompassing as if he could meld you to him. The warmth of his skin electrified my hand.
He was there.
And… he wasn’t.
Reality crashed in as my eyes opened and I became aware of my surroundings. However, his scent lingered.
How is that possible?
Within minutes I was out the door and heading for the gym.
Alone. Because, too often, that is how I roll. Alone. It’s a widow’s lot.
I wanted to run. I don’t run far, or fast, or even for long. But the thought of out running the memory of my dream possessed me.
I intended to step on the treadmill and lock an invisible shield around my zone. Impenetrable. Alone.
But God!!! In His goodness and infinite wisdom knew I’d have that dream. After all, it was from Him. He knew I’d seek to runaway, even though during the drive I asked him questions about my instructions. Like, where? How? But He knew if I could slip in unnoticed, kind of easy to do since I don’t know a lot of people, I would place my dream into the dream file and ignore it. All I had to do was be alone. Alone to focus on being alone. But God!!! In His kindness, He placed a friend in the gym, right next to one of the first empty treadmills. Then He brought out another friend (one whose hugs rival my late husbands), and then one of my children showed up.
He knew I didn’t need to be alone. He surrounded me with family. They hadn’t a clue as to why I was there in the middle of the day, which was out of character. And I didn’t tell them. I just accepted their love and joy at seeing me.
God created us for relationship. Relationship with Him, as well as relationship with others. We need each other. We need community. We’re told in Hebrews 10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” (KJV)
I believe this doesn’t apply only to Sundays and Wednesdays, but to every day, especially the hard ones when we want to isolate ourselves and wallow in self-pity because life isn’t going how we expected.
We need each other for exhortation.
We need each other for comfort and to help keep perspective.
We need each other for joy and laughter.
We need each other for love.
We need each other, because when two or more are gathered in His name (bringing GLORY to Him by our words and actions) He is there in the midst. (Matthew 18:20)