When the Stars Go Dim

I recently bought a book on Wattpad, a community of writers and readers, and decided to try and build readership by posting chapters of a new story that began as a creative non-fiction piece. If you want to see what Wattpad is about go to the link provided and see my story. You can also like it there to help boost views.

This first chapter is non-fiction. It happened. The next chapter will evolve, along with a good portion of me, into fiction.

I hope you enjoy.

CHAPTER ONE

Inhale.

Exhale.

In—out.

In—out.

Rapid.

Shallow. I nearly hyperventilate as I try to keep up with his pace. Finally, a nurse administers more morphine. He calms. Our breaths slow. Deepen. A normal, healthy adult takes twelve to twenty breaths a minute. His are doubled, maybe tripled. I’m told the cause is anxiety, or maybe even pain. I’m told morphine will help.

Help what? Comfort him? Kill him? I shake my head and don’t ask. I don’t want to know. He’s dying anyway, right? Why make him suffer? Why draw this moment out any longer than necessary?

Inhale.

Exhale.

In—out.

In—out.

Rapid.

Shallow.

Cold. Steel. Mustard tan. My shoulder presses harder into the frame as I bring my breathing back to normal. This threshold keeps me rooted without commitment. The front half of me is dipped in gray sorrow. The back half is in the hall. Carefully decorated in muted blues and pinks by a meticulous interior designer, it somehow lends hope for tomorrow.

I want to grasp at that thin thread offered by the décor. I want to sink into one of the paintings, to be captured in one single space of time. A happy time. A joyous time. A time without tears. A time where breaths are free and unencumbered by disease. A time where there is only one threshold. The crossing from an enclosed womb filled with amniotic fluid to a vast world filled with oxygen, love, and endless possibilities.

I want to dance with the vibrant life the mahogany baby grand promises as my daughters sit hip-to-hip playing a duet. The melodic sound confuses me. It momentarily breaks the sadness, and yet it adds a heavier layer of sorrow on my shoulders. It’s one of their father’s favorites. I want to brand the name in my mind, but I know…..

To read the rest of the story, please follow the link and of course don’t forget to like and share.

https://embed.wattpad.com/story/179939744

Thank you,

Christina

 

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